A Day In the Life ( lifeless)

Let me take you through a day of life in a maximum security unit of a mental hospital back in the 60's.

First is the smell....It is something you will never ever forget your entire life. It is a mixture of feces, urine, body odor, rotting food and some smells that I've never been able to pinpoint. It is the smell of the forgotten.
The halls are long and extremely dark, dank and depressing.
You get up in the morning to use a communal bathroom, then off single file down into the basement cafeteria....No need to comment on the food.
Your days were spent in a locked 'Day Room'......There was nothing in this room for entertainment...Other than cards. Unbelievable...But true.....
You have to keep in mind though that almost all of the people here ....Didn't need outside stimulation to entertain themselves......They had their own entertaining going on...

If you were good, and you were either medicated to the zombie state or proven to be no threat...You were allowed outside once a day into a walled courtyard....Where you could wander around ......Looking at the wall.

Then back to the 'Day Room'...Single file to lunch......Back to the 'Day Room'..Single file to supper...'Day Room'....Then bed.

And so, a fourteen year old girl spends her days......Will anyone ever hear me?......

Will anyone ever Care?

This Isn't Funny Anymore.

So, I'm being transported back to the hospital. After six months on the road, I'm actually looking forward to seeing my 'old' friends and having a warm secure place to sleep with guaranteed meals.....You know what they say...."There's no place like home" ;) I didn't realize that now I was considered an 'escape risk' .....So it's off to the maximum security building ...Just to teach me a lesson.... No homecoming party with my buddies for me.

This is not fun.

I don't know how mental hospitals are run now, I can only hope with more humanity, cleanliness and compassion. In the early 60's........ They weren't. At least not in the maximum security buildings. I saw things there that no one 'in their right mind' should have to witness. I was housed with some of the most neglect and disturbed people on the planet...To survive you became very very tough .....Or at times ...Very very charming...Whichever worked for you that day.

This was the first time in my life ...That I felt completely trapped.....I went through a period of hopelessness and helplessness....Of feeling so lost in the system...That I wanted to give up....

After all ....Who was going to hear me??