Bad Girl

Like I said before, I don't remember a lot about my years at the orphanage. I remember the home...that there were a lot of other children there, but all were boys other than myself and the people who ran the orphanage had a grown daughter who helped out. I found out later the people never took girl children in, as luck would have it ( laugh) they didn't like them....I was the exception because of my brother and the Welfare people wanted to keep us together while court proceedings were ongoing. It's funny in hindsight...... I can remember every corner of the home....... but not anyones face..... Or perhaps...... it's not funny.

Other things I don't remember.....I don't remember ever being happy, or playing, or having for that matter anything to play with...... I never ever remember being hugged. I don't remember ever really 'feeling' anything. Except a constant need for 'something' ...... but not knowing what.

I do remember when I was about six asking the lady who ran the home why I didn't have a mommy and daddy like the other kids in school and her answer was..."Your mommy is in prison."...."She is there because she beat you, and Mommies don't beat good babies, so you must have been a very very bad baby."...

Oh.