So Why Am I Writing This?

Before I continue on, I want to ponder for a minute why I feel such a need to voice my life story.
Am I suddenly getting 'flashbacks' or having visions that have been lying dormant in my brain mercifully for all these years?...........No...... I haven't been blessed with loss of memory. Everyday of my life I have lived with the memories and how they have affected me and those around me.

Outward appearances have me blending into society. I am an attractive, intelligent ,very kind and compassionate person. Everyone who knows me and knows of my past....can't believe it. I hear remarks all the time....You are a survivor!! How blessed you are that you came out of all this and are such a wonderful person... I can't believe you are so 'normal'.
Well, guess what???.......I'm not........ I hurt everyday.....I am painfully unhuggable, yet needing desperately to be hugged. I have no one to talk to , as everyone thinks...I am a survivor.

So please, my captive audience, I don't mean this to be a depressing experience for anyone.....nor do I want anyone to go away from reading this not a better person for the read..... I just want to be validated .....for someone to gain the knowledge that how we make our children feel ......is the adults they become.

........Now, on with my story...